Thoreau once wrote, “the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” When I first read this line in high school English class, I really didn’t grasp its meaning. Fast forward 25+ years and I now fully appreciate the line. Show of hands – how many of you thought to yourself this week one or more of the following:
- What the hell happened to my dreams/life/career?
- At this age, I’m not where I thought I’d be.
- I’ve neglected what’s important to me for far too long.
- I don’t feel like I’m in control of my own life anymore.
For those of you who didn’t raise your hand, congratulations. Your among the very few in this world that have lived the dream and have stayed true to yourself. For many of us, myself included, we reach a point in our lives where we feel like a stranger in our own skin. So how exactly does this happen? Gradually over time. Dreams die not in an instant, but slowly through ten thousand compromises. Here a just a few examples:
- Took the job because it paid more. Once I save some money, then I’ll follow my dream career.
- Ate that chocolate cake because I just couldn’t resist! I’ll walk off the calories later…
- Put off the family vacation because I was simply too busy at work. We can always go some other time.
- I’ll start working on that great business idea when I have a little more free time.
- But it’s Christmas… go ahead and buy it. We can worry about finances after the holidays.
- I’m too tired to work out today. Maybe tomorrow.
Individually, they all seem somewhat harmless, but now compound those daily decisions over 5, 10 or even 20 years and guess what? You start wondering where things went wrong. So what’s behind these small compromises? Fear. Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of the future, fear of being different – some type of fear that quietly encourages you to compromise just this one time. We don’t realize it at first, but once we do, there are things we can do to get back on track, regardless of how far we’ve strayed from our dreams. The key is creating an anchoring foundation that helps you stay the course – each and every day. Here is what has worked extremely well for me: First, take stock of your life. What is truly important to you? What are your values? Take some time to think about your top 10 values and the 3 most important things in your life – write it down. Next, identify one main goal that you want to achieve that will help you focus on your values and the things you hold most dear. Be very specific as to what you want to achieve – write it down. Third, take some time each week to identify what you will accomplish that week to reach your goal – write it down. Each morning before you start your day, spend time reading through your values, what’s important to you, your goal and the week’s steps to achieve that goal. OUT LOUD. Each day, note your progress – write it down. We’ll go into much greater detail in future posts on this process, but you can still get started TODAY. If you haven’t guessed by now, the key is writing things down and reading them out loud. Studies have shown that those who have written goals are much, much more likely to achieve them than those who don’t. Why? Because when your brain sees something in writing, that idea becomes more tangible and becomes a self-contract which usually increases your motivation to achieve your goals. Plus, writing your goal down forces you to clarify your thoughts before putting pencil to paper. Remember, life is short, so don’t delay any longer. Take some time TODAY to start this process and commit to yourself that you will devote some time each and every day to achieving your goal. You can do it!
